The Mind of Olivia Drab presents Ollie World

The brain is still intact

Great news! I still have a 100%-zombielicious brain.

No tumors were found on the MRI. Since (from what I've been able to tell) MRIs don't detect siezure activity, unless one is in progress during the MRI, I can't rule them out. However, I am feeling more and more like the phantom smell was directly related to the virus I had. Even though the smell began two weeks prior to my illness...

Anyhow, I'm not going in for any other tests unless the phantom smells return. Let's hope they don't.

As for the upper GI, that also revealed nothing operable. The only thing it discovered was that my body processes food, liquid, etc., at a heavily increased rate of speed. We're talking Star Trek warp drive here. Zoooooom! The entire test was supposed to take up to 3 hours. It took me 30 minutes. I drank the barium, they quickly did an xray, and I had to drink more barium because it was already through the system. Rapido. What does that mean? Bollocks if I know. I'm guessing it partially explains the magnificent gut pains I get every day, though. Somehow.

New body, preferably the android species, please...

Life (that doesn't include screwy body talk)

We are nearing the November cutoff for this 'ere blog. Granted I have sooo much else to run my mouth about, in regard to my stupid health, but seriously--who wants to hear my daily "guess what I'm diagnosed with now?!" catalog? I just feel like a hypochondriac (except for the part where I actually GET stuff). I'd like to focus my writings on other topics.

So...

Coming soon will be my newest blog, Zero Degrees. It's the blog for art professionals (Graphic Designers, Photographers, etc.) without a college degree. I have been a professional for over ten years, but have never finished college. I got CLOSE (Junior), but companies don't hire you when you are "close", regardless of your proven skills and talent. I got tired of paying a high tuition and then teaching the class after a week because I knew more about the course than the instructor.

I'm hoping to start a revolution. I'm tired of being picked over in favor of someone who couldn't design their way out of a box, but had the time to get a piece of paper. That's not to say there aren't very talented art professionals who got a degree, there definitely ARE. However, the field is oversaturated with the other kind. I just want to be considered based on my career, not a piece of paper (or lack thereof).

I couldn't make this up if I tried.

Today is Thursday. Another appointment, another doctor for yet another "issue". I'm 70% positive it's a sinus infection, however...

For the last two weeks, I've had a phantom cigarette smell following me everywhere, night and day. As a non-smoker, I find it sickening. I would rather have a poop diaper or stinky feet smell stuck in my nose for two weeks than a cigarette smoke smell. This has felt like someone was standing in front of me, blowing smoke in my face non-stop. I smell it, taste it, feel it in the back of my eustachian tube, mouth, nose, eyes. It's been bad. No one is smoking around me, which makes it befuddling.

So today I head to yet another doctor to find out what NOW.

She sent me for an xray off the bat. Wants to make sure there isn't something obvious going on in there. You know, like a pinto bean I might have accidentally crammed up my nose when I wasn't paying attention. I am waiting on those results as we speak.

If those come back okey dokey, she wants me to have an MRI. Because she is concerned that I might be having mild SEIZURES.

Seizures. S.e.i.z.u.r.e.s. It has to be a joke, right? Someone is having a good laugh at my expense this week? Right?

Robot body for 1, please.

The plot thickens (or maybe not)

Alrighty, then.

In keeping with my previous medical drama, this round didn't deviate. I got a call from the doctor. They looked over my CT scan and the ovaries were fine, the gallbladder seemed fine... it's just... um... well... there seems to be SOMETHING, we don't know what, but something unusual in the small intestine.

Uh-huh. You don't say.

They referred me to a GI specialist. Sadly, it wasn't a buff military man in camouflage wanting to check me out, it was the OTHER kind of GI specialist. The kind who scares you senseless by asking you to come in immediately after taking a look at your CT.

Right, so, I went in this morning to see Dr. GI (not Joe). We discussed my symptoms, he pressed on areas of my abdomen, and then said, "I'm ordering an upper GI series because I'm worried that the endometriosis that you had on the intestine..."

OH HEY EVERYBODY! ENDO IS GETTING SOME PROPS!

"...may have caused some scar tissue that is maaaaaybe causing a small blockage."

Tuesday. GI series. For those of you collecting the Ollie Medical Procedures game cards, this is the latest in the series.

Nope, not yet

Being no newcomer to the "Holy Crap! Let's panic and order invasive testing that ultimately finds nothing to report" routine, I have yet to attend my recently ordered CT scan. I know, I'm being irresponsible. Or denial. Whatever. I promise to schedule it today. It just sucks to go through this thing with this stuff, that I am apparently allergic to, pumping through my veins, and paying a bunch of money to hear "looks normal". Not that I want to hear anything BUT that, it's just a lot of ceremony for nothing, know what I mean?

Hopefully I'm not being too cocky about it. It just feels so familiar. Been here. A few hundred times.

UPDATED

Ok, it's set for Friday afternoon. La-ti-da. I can't wait.

MORE UPDATING

Now we wait... The so-and-so has to read this and write that and then dictates this and sends that, and then my doctor gets the results and calls me. I expect no earlier than Wednesday to hear what's up.

I did, however hear the words, "acute gallbladder", a totally different issue. I've had gallbladder issues since I was 6 months pregnant with Lauren. Not surprising. I totally expect to be nagged about having it removed again.

No hints on the nether regions though. We shall see.