Just when I thought it was safe to move along with the program, the old ute dusts itself off and starts a new war with me.
I've been having pain lately. Not specifically-located pain. Also, not the old days kind of pain, the passing-of-the-razor and wanting-to-die kind of pain. This is more like something is going to fall out, owie, body bruise pain.
I was coping. I went to a urologist. I had a CT scan in which I had an allergic reaction, breaking out in hives. That was pretty awesome. But it was when the 18th stranger confidently asked me when my baby was due that I realized I needed to see my Ob/Gyn. Looking like you are 6 mos pregnant when you are most definitely NOT is not a good thing.
She saw me immediately. They ran a pregnancy test--negative. No shocker there. She discovered some soreness on my right side. Still not a surprise. Then she decided to do an ultrasound. The ovaries seemed to be ok, with a couple of spent egg follicles (a couple you say? Odd.) That's when there was pause.
"You said the nurse did a pregnancy test, right?" she asked. I replied yes, and that it was negative. Her eyebrows crunched together. I tried to decipher the brow motion.
After a minute or so, she said, "See that little dark ring?" and pointed to a portion of the screen. "That's a pocket of fluid," and tilted her head to the side.
"I'm ordering another CT scan... just to be sure." To be sure of WHAT? Now my brows were crunching together.
There seems to be a couple ideas for what's going on:
- Madame Uterus strikes again, and has harbored a craptastically failed pregnancy (completely circumventing the expensive IUD that should have prevented something like this).
- Something far more sinister (can you say "hysterectomy", boys and girls?)
- (My idea) Maybe whatever the hell surge in hormones that caused TWO FREAKING EGG FOLLIES might have somewhat overstimmed the ovaries and thus produced this [totally benign] pocket of mystery fluid.
- Jimmy Hoffa has returned and that pocket of fluid is his canteen
- My body suckethamundo
There could be multiple correct answers.
Stay tuned for the reveal after the CT scan.
