I was so busy today that it almost slipped by me.
It was on this day, five years ago, that Brad and I were overcome by the horror and sadness that we hope to never, ever feel again. We lost our daughter, whom I still identify in my mind as "Zelda" since that was the name foremost in our minds at the time. There had been other miscarriages before and some after, but she was the one that hurt the most. We had seen her on the ultrasound. Heard her heartbeat. We had felt increasingly more confident she would survive my womb and become our child until June 4, 2004. Then hope was obliterated at nine weeks gestation. It took me years to believe in hope again. Lauren restored that hope. I am so grateful for that perfect child who is falling asleep in her crib right this minute. Every day that she is here, doing a silly dance, pointing to my nose, giggling, or even throwing a tantrum makes me more grateful.
Zelda, I am sorry I almost let the day go past without recognition. Thank you for trying so hard to survive. Thank you for showing us how much we needed to keep going. Thank you. I promise, you will never be forgotten.
She will never be forgotten.
Posted by: Kristin | June 04, 2009 at 10:15 PM
Hugs & love & I am so very happy that Lauren came your way.
Posted by: Evelin | June 05, 2009 at 05:59 AM
Thinking of you as you remember.
Posted by: Betty M | June 06, 2009 at 03:18 PM
So sorry about your loss. (((Hugs)))
Posted by: Heather | June 06, 2009 at 07:43 PM
So sorry I missed this post, but you know I hold you in my heart, especially during times like these. I'm so glad Lauren is there to help heal some of these wounds.
Posted by: Natalee | June 08, 2009 at 07:07 PM
Touching and beautifully commemorated.
Posted by: Plainmama | June 12, 2009 at 12:38 PM
How is your pregnancy going? Or did I misinterpret that?
Posted by: Micaela | July 12, 2009 at 03:03 PM
Micaela, there is no pregnancy. The last one (that I know of) was the one that produced Lauren in 2007.
Posted by: Melissa (Ollie) | July 26, 2009 at 08:09 PM