I have been blogging for five years. Wow. To give an idea how far I've come, here was my very first blog post, February 10, 2004.
My first entry.. for lack of better title. 02.10.04 (11:10 am)
Oh the agonies of life. To summarize my existence in a nutshell would be difficult. There is too much to truly dwell on one thing. Although I am what clinical ratbastards call a "Recurrent Habitual Aborter", I refuse to let that honor go to my head. I know all the other girls at the happy farm would be jealous if they couldn't have such a marvelous title. Aborter--baby dies. Habitual--terrible habit, should consider a 12-step program. Recurrent--I just keep COMING BACK FOR MORE!
But I digress.
This blog is not exclusively based on this horrible fixation my body has with recurrently aborting my unborn progeny. No. In fact, that's only been the last two years of my life that miscarriage has even been an issue. Before that, I was a fun-loving sprite who "decided" that I would start a family at 30. I insist on laughing at this point [laughter tag]. Oh the gaiety!!
Once more I digress.
Truth in fact: I cannot let this become solely about my adventures in conception. I have too many other stressful issues that often need purging to let that part take over.
Ok, I fight this battle with my inner self on a daily basis. To trash, or not to trash our Holy Diety. I had this long paragraph where I ranted and raved about God being a selfish kidnapper who took my babies because He loved them so much he just had to steal them when I wasn't paying attention. But I deleted it because I am going to be happy and positive this year. I am going to be so happy that people are going to wonder if I am rabid. I find that my inner demons tend to thrive on my woes. My vow: I am NOT going to be one of those happy lala's who say ridiculous things as "things are going to turn out great you watch!!" Because I know that things will eventually turn to crap--but then it will get better. It's how life works. Nothing very good or very bad ever lasts forever. If it is bad, just wait. It WILL get good again (of course it will likely turn bad again soon, but that's the way it is.) That was good advice given to me by my best friend just before she OD'ed on prescription painkillers. R.I.P. Mary.
Bad things happen. But ya know what? The good things are good too. There's too many of those to list.
Brad is one of those things. My husband is my best friend. We rarely fight. We had disagreements or bicker from time to time, but it hardly ever lasts very long and is never more than a few sparks. It's called mutual respect. Too many couples lack it. That's not to say we don't have fire--it's just a better incarnation of fire. Boom-chicka-boom.
Today is our miniversary, by the way. The 10th of every month is a miniversary, namely because everything of great significance takes place on that day for Brad and I. The only time we don't celebrate a miniversary is July 10, since that is our wedding ANNIversary.
Well, there ya have it. Entry One in this experiment called Blogging. I am so hip I ooze with hipsteria.
Oh the agonies of life. To summarize my existence in a nutshell would be difficult. There is too much to truly dwell on one thing. Although I am what clinical ratbastards call a "Recurrent Habitual Aborter", I refuse to let that honor go to my head. I know all the other girls at the happy farm would be jealous if they couldn't have such a marvelous title. Aborter--baby dies. Habitual--terrible habit, should consider a 12-step program. Recurrent--I just keep COMING BACK FOR MORE!
But I digress.
This blog is not exclusively based on this horrible fixation my body has with recurrently aborting my unborn progeny. No. In fact, that's only been the last two years of my life that miscarriage has even been an issue. Before that, I was a fun-loving sprite who "decided" that I would start a family at 30. I insist on laughing at this point [laughter tag]. Oh the gaiety!!
Once more I digress.
Truth in fact: I cannot let this become solely about my adventures in conception. I have too many other stressful issues that often need purging to let that part take over.
Ok, I fight this battle with my inner self on a daily basis. To trash, or not to trash our Holy Diety. I had this long paragraph where I ranted and raved about God being a selfish kidnapper who took my babies because He loved them so much he just had to steal them when I wasn't paying attention. But I deleted it because I am going to be happy and positive this year. I am going to be so happy that people are going to wonder if I am rabid. I find that my inner demons tend to thrive on my woes. My vow: I am NOT going to be one of those happy lala's who say ridiculous things as "things are going to turn out great you watch!!" Because I know that things will eventually turn to crap--but then it will get better. It's how life works. Nothing very good or very bad ever lasts forever. If it is bad, just wait. It WILL get good again (of course it will likely turn bad again soon, but that's the way it is.) That was good advice given to me by my best friend just before she OD'ed on prescription painkillers. R.I.P. Mary.
Bad things happen. But ya know what? The good things are good too. There's too many of those to list.
Brad is one of those things. My husband is my best friend. We rarely fight. We had disagreements or bicker from time to time, but it hardly ever lasts very long and is never more than a few sparks. It's called mutual respect. Too many couples lack it. That's not to say we don't have fire--it's just a better incarnation of fire. Boom-chicka-boom.
Today is our miniversary, by the way. The 10th of every month is a miniversary, namely because everything of great significance takes place on that day for Brad and I. The only time we don't celebrate a miniversary is July 10, since that is our wedding ANNIversary.
Well, there ya have it. Entry One in this experiment called Blogging. I am so hip I ooze with hipsteria.
Wow...you started blogging about 6 months before me.
Posted by: Kristin | April 17, 2009 at 11:53 PM
I too owned that the title of "habitual aborter" My son was born about a month after your daughter and to read your words above brings back the pain, but also brings to light the happiness in my life. To go through the anguish that we have each had to endure is hard to fathom, but the happiness we feel looking into our children's faces is amazing. I will miss your blog! Enjoy every moment.
Posted by: Melissa Biggs | April 18, 2009 at 01:07 PM
What a post. And what a great reflection on your life. You will cherish each of these posts and so will Lauren.
Posted by: Plainmama | April 18, 2009 at 01:13 PM