The test begins... now.

The Flaming Lips announced that the c-section had begun.

It felt appropriate, given that we purchased Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots the day after our d&c in 2004. It took me six months before I could listen to the emotive lyrics without crumbling into tears. Afterwards, it always held very personal emotions, partially leading to my adoration of Wayne Coyne. Felt like a memorial to our lost daughter. When I was told that we could have our choice of music in the operating room, the choice was clear. The memorial to one daughter would also be the welcome to the world for another.

The spinal block started with Fight Test. It sucked--the block, not the song. As I leaned forward and held Brad's hands, I heard the nurses say, "You're doing great, doing greaaat." Brad replied in whisper, "No, you're not, you're really not." Then we both laughed, and the anesthesiologist scolded me for moving too much.

Eventually, he got the drugs flowing and I lost all feeling from the ribs down. Groovy, man. Big time groovy. I felt like a disembodied head and arms. As I lay down, the nausea began (I'm mildly allergic to opiates, so the morphine in the block had it's evil way with me.) Stars spun in my head until good old Mr. Anesthesiologst (who reminded me of Batmanuel, see image at left) dropped in some awesome anti-nauseas, and then I was good to go. Bring on the cutting instruments.

I didn't feel anything except shoving and pushing and then I think they brought in the 300-lb Sausage Eating Champion to sit on my stomach. Within minutes, I heard Doc say, "Ok, Dad, have a look!"

Brad stood up and looked over the curtain, "Holy crap! It's a PERSON!!"

Then she was lifted up over the curtain so I could see. "Holy crap! A real live PERSON!"

Her big gigantic blue eyes were wide open, as was her screaming mouth. Healthy, strong lungs on that girl. And BOY was she kicking and punching with all of her might. Moxie!

The nurses cleaned her up and gave her APGARs of 9 & 9, only losing a small point because she was a teensy bit jaundiced (on the tip of her nose and in her eyes a little) but nothing major. Otherwise, this little redheaded beauty was declared perfect. Mostly by me. And Brad. The nurses just swooned and googoo'ed, or at least that was my interpretation.

Then I was sewn up and brought to the recovery where Brad and Lauren were waiting for me. That was where the photo op took place. It's been bliss ever since. She's a great baby. The fussing and crying only happens when the following bastard asshole events occur:

• Diaper change
• Clothing change
• Bath
• Dirty diaper
• Cold/Hot
• You asshole, you woke me up!
• I want boob, and I want it NOW!
• My tummy aches.

Otherwise, she's a good baby. Brad and I have actually had a relatively good time with sleeping, even though I do most of mine in the armchair glider after nursing her, rocking her, or just staring at her until I fall asleep. Doctor said I have to nip it in the bud, though and make her sleep in her crib. Ooooooooook, fine. Gah.

Mom left this morning so now Brad and I start to really be parents. So far, so good. We took a stroller walk down to the coffee shop this afternoon. It went beautifully, gorgeous day, unhappy baby because I was denying her from the Boob Fountain. Kid freaking loves to eat. My boobs have never felt better. Better, as in "being stabbed by a thousand fiery knives" of course.

But we couldn't be happier (oh, and the kitties "love" her too. "Love", as in "what the bloody hell?")

(added)

It's not from Yoshimi, but from another Lips cd, At War With the Mystics. I felt the lyrics had importance.

But this one bird didn't leave you
It stayed through the wintertime
You can't hear it sing
But you can hear it as it flies.

Comments

[Angela S.]

I'm glad to see you've finally posted! I was starting to get worried hah

She's beautiful and I know you two have to be beyond the moon happy. Feel free to share as many pictures as you want!

[Beth]

What a beautiful photo. So glad to hear things are moving along nicely. As far as the Dr/crib -- eh, sleep where you and she want to.

[Melissa from DIO]

I'm so happy for you Melissa. You look GREAT In that pic! And I agree with the PP, sleep wherever makes both of you happy! You've waited a long time for this.

Hey, luckily the test is open book!!

I can't believe you are up and taking walks already!!! Wow, you must be healing up really well!!!

I'm with Beth on the sleep thing. Crib sleep is great, she should be able to sleep there, because you do need your own sleep occasionally, but sometimes a baby just needs her momma. Or daddy. And if you want to sleep with your baby, don't let the doctor bully you out of it or make you feel guilty. I'll be 9 out of 10 parents have done it/do it.

Evelin

[JK]

You look very happy. I am thrilled for you and Brad! Yippee! (Personally, I'd ignore the doctor about the bed/crib... Sleep however it works for the 3 of you.)

[moonation]

Melissa you look fabulous :)

I totally 100% support co-sleeping or rooming in. I love it. Hallie didn't move to her crib until she was 6 months old, and neither will Noah ;) (2 months left!) I think I'd go crazy if I couldn't see them and hear them until they were a bit older.

Red hair, I knew it!

[Julia]

Oh, there you are! Thank god. I was beginning to sweat.

PICTURES!! I WANT PICTURES, DAMMIT! You can't say you have a red-headed beauty and then not share! It's not fair to the rest of the class!

[mandy]

I have been anxiously waiting for an update...but I know that new babies make for little extra time to chit chat on the computer. You look so happy. What a dream come true. I know you are enjoying every tired, fire-boob minute.

Congratulations!!

[Kim]

You look blissfully happy. :) Congratulations.

And on the sleep thing - I have a friend who is big into training them to sleep and whatnot, but she even doesn't try until they are at least three weeks old, and really, even moreso until they are six weeks. She's too little for any of that right now.

Plus, she's your kid (!) and you can do what you want!

[wavybrains]

She's beautiful! Thanks so much for posting your story. "Our" due date passed sans baby for me, and seeing your adorable baby reminds me what's waiting on the other side when he/she finally makes up their mind to make an appearance! I'm so glad that things are going relatively well for you!!

[statia]

First time commenter, long time lurker (found you through velvet cage Donna who is a friend of mine).

Anyway, congratulations. And I'm not going to be assvicey, but seriously, enjoy sleeping in the chair all you want. Mine's six months and on occasion, I still do it, because I miss it and I'm sure I won't be able to get away with it much longer. He sometimes sleeps in our bed, and still sleeps 97% of his time, very awesome in his very own crib. You can't spoil them when they're this little. They love it as much as you. Snuggle up. It goes too fast.

[Jenn]

I'm so happy for you! And I agree with everyone else on the sleep thing. She's way too young to be forming any habits anyway.

[cat, galloping]

You got to pick music for the delivery?! I'm jealous.

Congrats on getting a redhead... they're the best kind. :)

[Cecily]

Sleep wherever! Enjoy that baby... if she's like Tori she'll decide soon enough that THAT IS ENOUGH CUDDLING THANK YOU. :) So take 'em while you can. Crib, schmib. Remember that there are whole nations (like India) that let babies sleep with mom!

[Cecily]

Oh, and feel free to flag me for assvice. Anytime.

[Kris]

Congratulations! She is a doll... and I agree, she'll sleep in a crib when both of you are ready. Brody slept in his bouncy chair until he was 4 months old and finally moved into his crib. He wanted nothing to do with a bassinet, and I just couldn't stand not having him in our room with us!

[Tonya]

Congratulations on her safe and healthy arrival! You look so amazing and it's always wonderful to see that bliss with a baby.

I could not sleep unless I had baby in the same room with us, so both babes were in the bassinet until 6 months. I agree-- do what works best for y'all. Also, the fiery boob/milk letdown will get better, but damn can it hurt at first!

Hope the kitties adjust soon; took mine about three weeks before he realized 'oh crap, she's really NOT leaving huh?'

[suzanne]

fuck a crib. let miss thang sleep where YOU and BRAD can get some sleep too! She'll sleep in a crib eventually. When your boobs get in the groove of things and aren't so leaky, AND when she has better neck control, you'll be able to roll over and let her latch on and feed that pretty little red head of hers all by herself. YOur nips will be numb by then and you can just fall back asleep. I am still working on her not-pink present. It will be finished soon and in the mail!

[Donna]

I am always fussy if I don't get to sleep in someone's arms, and I'm sure Lauren feels the same way. She's your baby, yes she is! And Brad's of course, hence the red hair. But where is the goatee??

[Sam]

My Chicken was the same way with the fussiness over bathing and changing etc.

She is beautiful. I am so happy for you!

[Amy]

You look and sound great! She's so freakin cute!

I'm glad nursing is going well. Hopefully your nipples will feel better soon.

I hate when peds give out parenting advice. I'm personally a big fan of cosleeping. My dd slept with us until she was close to 2. Now 8 month old ds sleeps snuggled up to me every night and nurses when he wants. I get a lot of sleep b/c I usually sleep through most of it. Oh, and my ped co-slept with her children until they were around 15 months. So they don't all think it's horrible.

Sorry for the assvice. Just go with the flow. The time passes so quickly.

How cool is it that she has red hair?

[Shelley]

I'm smiling. What a thrill to see your gorgeous Lauren, and the radiant look on your face.

The cats adjust. I remember mine were terrified first, then curious, then horrified, then life returned to normal.

The first few weeks with a new baby are such a haze in retrospect, but like you I had a pretty easy one (like all babies, she certainly had her moments, but she definitely was easy from all I can tell), and it sounds like things are going so incredibly well -- congratulations!

[Sheryl]

Congratulations... she's a BEAUTY!!!

[Lynnette]

Gorgeous picture! So glad everything is well. BTW, I've got twins, and became a big "sleep training advocate," so as not to go all Andrea Yates, and even those guys (Ferber, Weissbluth) say, you can't really do much on that front, but comfort them, until they're 3 or 4 months old. By the time they were 3 or 4 months, things were getting better on their own. I think babies know what they need, when they need it. Just enjoy your hard-won baby, and deal with things if they become problems. Sorry. This turned into assvice, and I really just wanted to say, I'm so happy you're enjoying your baby.

[Kim]

*wiping tears* CONGRATS! I don't recal how I found your blog but I just spent the past couple of hours reading your entire story.

You have given me new hope. Thank you. I m/c in July and am currently in the TWW. Reading your story and seeing you and that beautiful baby has given me the strength and hope I needed.

Many blessings to you, Brad and beautiful Lauren Emeline.