BRING OUT YOUR TROLLS!

Just because you CAN, doesn't always mean you SHOULD. Sure, yes, the average woman produces an egg a month. But that doesn't mean you have to fertilize every one of them. Yeah, yeah, blah blah blah, children are a blessing from God, blah blah "rights", yadda yadda yadda.  No wonder I can't have a child. She's out there stealing all the baby souls! *sneer*

Unless you are populating a small island country singlehandedly, having sixteen children is GLUTTONY.

Especially when you name one of them JINGER. Jinger?! The only future that kid has is being one of Santa's elves. Really. Jinger. Someone slap that woman across her jaw, please!

And in keeping with the Monty Python theme, I dedicate the "Every Sperm Is Sacred" sequence to her. Everyone, sing along!

Every speeerm is saaaacred,
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is waaaasted,
God gets quite irate!!

Comments

[Jessica]

I'm not sure if this makes it better or worse, but they're pronouncing that one like ginger rather than jingle. Had to stick with the j theme though.

[Julie]

I'm so glad you posted this. Now I don't have to!

[Tiffanni]

Umm, I am gonna go to hell for saying this, but anyone with that hair-do shouldn't reproduce to begin with...much less 16 times.

[Stephanie V]

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! That's just wrong - WRONG on so many levels. It certainly gives new meaning to the term "breeder".

[Katie]

And she wants more - Are her eldest stringing themselves up on the ceiling beams yet? Forget all the things I could say about the parents - I feel bad for the older kids who must be shouldered with a lot of responsibilities.

And just because it annoys me - THERE ARE 25 OTHER LETTERS IN THE ALPHABET!

[Krissy]

The "J"s. How very twee.

Puke-o-rama.

My problem with this kind of procreation is:

A) What happens if dad dies? Do you have any idea how much day care for 12 or whatever kids is? ANY IDEA?

B) One parent cannot possibly effectively care for 16 children. That means that the oldest kids are surrogate moms and dads. Grrreeeeeeaaaaat.

C) I'd keep going but my head just exploded in rage at the stupidity of a large portion of the human race.

[Krissy]

The "J"s. How very twee.

Puke-o-rama.

My problem with this kind of procreation is:

A) What happens if dad dies? Do you have any idea how much day care for 12 or whatever kids is? ANY IDEA?

B) One parent cannot possibly effectively care for 16 children. That means that the oldest kids are surrogate moms and dads. Grrreeeeeeaaaaat.

C) I'd keep going but my head just exploded in rage at the stupidity of a large portion of the human race.

[justme]

Jealous much?

[cat]

Perhaps she can name her next child Jackass.

[Ollie]

And a special prize goes to "justme" for stating the obvious. No shit I'm jealous. I thought I made that abundantly clear, you know, through the entire mission of this blog?

I don't have children, fuckin' A I am jealous of Baby Pez Dispensers.

[Ollie]

...and yet I still find it repugnant.

[Sandy]

Jealous of Baby Pez dispensers...hehehe. Ollie, you rock! You are coming up with lines that are making me lose my mind this week!!!

My 10 yr old stepson brought me that very story from this morning's paper. All 700 of them gathered around the bed, cooing lovingly at the newest little jughead. And he said (at 10 years old) "can you believe this? They're out of their minds."

Out of the mouths of babes.

[Stephanie]

can you imagine her uterus??? I bet after the first 12 or 13 labors the babies probably just walked out of there.

It just doesn't seem fair that this couple can have 16 (and want MORE) when so many of my dear friends would be thankful just to get one.

[nickidee]

WTF!! If you love children so much why not adopt the many available children that need homes and parents. I mean do whatever floats your boat but really sixteen kids.

[nickidee]

I just wanted to explain that I meant for the baby factory to adopt not anyone else.

[Ollie]

I got where you were coming from, N. :)

And that's probably the advice she'd probably give me while chucking out her 19th kid. So it's appropriate to advise her of such.

[memphissuz]

I emailed you this a.m. but I'll say it here too. That she-mullet it wrong, and her twat must be the size of Alaska. O.k. maybe texas, b/c I think she did have a c-section once.

[DonnaT65]

I saw a TV special on these freaks when they were expecting #15. Each little kid has an older kid as a “buddy” (read surrogate parent) who is responsible for taking care of their “little buddy”. Mom is “buddy” to the baby until the next one comes along. I think she is addicted to the smell of baby powder. I won’t even go into their religious convictions. Ok, I will – no pants on girls, no single dating (ever, I think), and they have their own “church” with another big ass family. Freaks, I tell ya, freaks. I feel so sorry for those kids – especially the older ones who have way too much responsibility. And how the hell do you spend any one-on-one time with each of 16 kids? I predict they are raising at least one axe murder and a couple of pole dancers.

Donna, not at all jealous of the broodmare, thank you very much

[Emily]

Baby Pez dispensor, bwahahaha, and I didn't think you could top yourself after everytime someone yells asswhore an alien loses his wings.

I thought the same thing as you, while it bothers me on the level that they have so many kids and in essence are 'cheating' their older kids out of a childhood because they have to 'watch' the younger kids and I think that's patently unfair -- that is the job of their MOTHER, not THEM and if their MOTHER cannot take care of them, then perhaps she should have the amount of children that she can MANAGE. So yeah, trolls, kiss my ever expanding ass. Like you said, just because you can, doesn't mean you should. But the thing that galls me the most, is, like you, I'm sure she would tell me that there are so many needy kids in the world and I can just adopt. Why doesn't SHE just adopt. If there are already too many kids in the world, why does she feel the need to have 16 of them?

[Kristin]

Thanks for providing such humor about this "event". You know they can't be that smart with a dad named Jim Bob. I think it's a very selfish act to continue to have kids like they are. Their older ones are missing out on a lot being a "buddy". Uggg.

[Angela]

Good goddess how does Jim Bob even manage to get any sperm in there? Her freaking vagina must be the size of texas after all that, and I don't know too many men who can bust a nut just walking through texas...

They are going to overpopulate the earth BY THEMSELVES! Somebody stop them!

[Kristin]

Thanks for providing such humor about this "event". You know they can't be that smart with a dad named Jim Bob. I think it's a very selfish act to continue to have kids like they are. Their older ones are missing out on a lot being a "buddy". Uggg.

[fisher queen]

I would like to take a moment to revisit the hair. Holy mullet someone get her a stylist Batman! I hope some morning show will jump on that one, because, really, the hair is almost worse than the 16 kids.
And yes I am jealous. (Not of the hair though)

[One Crazy Mama]

Long time lurker...DH and I saw this on the news and he just looked at me like 'this is a joke right?" Makes me wanna vomit, seriously.

[justme]

You people are just so funny, you know that? You would give your right arm and all your money to have a baby, but someone else who doesnt have to do that (for whatever reason) you are quick to jump all over them and call them freaks? They dont need your permission, and they certainly dont take your money in welfare. They love their children enough to have them, feed them, homeschool them, build a life centered around them, and call them blessings from God, and all you can talk about is the size of her vagina???? You are so petty and its sad. Maybe this is why God is blessing her and not some of you all, you think..... maybe? If they were mistreating these children and smoking crack instead of changing the diapers, then you could all sit here and talk about them like they deserve nothing, but until that time comes, just be happy for them. They wouldnt begrudge ANY of you for having children. You really should find something better to do with your time. Oh, and the one who commented about the children and the buddy system, whats wrong with that? Its teaching empathy and responsiblity to the older child, and teaching the younger one how not to be some deranged toddler. These kids will know exactly how to be a parent when they have children, unlike most kids who know absolutely nothing about babies. They wont be entering parenthood clueless. What could possibly be wrong with that? Obviously the mother does ALOT with these kids, so its not like she sits on her rear and watches soap operas. They are helpers, not the mom or dad. And children should be helpers, not just people who sit in front of the play station and gripe about how boring their life is.