Tonight, it finally happened. The moment I've been waiting my whole life for. The day of redemption, the day when all those angst-ridden, calorie-counting, treadmill-running moments finally produce results.
To preface this, I should set up the scene. Our VW Jetta is a piece of shit (from the get-go). It has been in the shop three times in 2005, and it always seems to be breaking or leaking a lake of water into the floorboard (perfect car for my always-broken-down ass). So while it was in the shop, we were renting a sweet little Hyundai Accent (and by "sweet" I mean the $11/day value package base model vehicle that doesn't leak or rattle).
Our VW mechanic informed us that the car was ready. We fetched the Jetta and merrily made our way to the car rental shop. Brad waited in the Jetta while I handled the rental folk. Or rather, I went and stood in a long-ass line and waited with the rest of the miserable people.
That's when he walked in.
The 50-year old Korean Businessman.
He liked me. He flirted at me. He said all the supah smooth things you say to a chick in a long line. He asked me where I was headed. He asked me where "home" was. He cooed and purred at me as if I was his special little turtle dove. And then, when his frequent flyer miles earned him a major cut in the big-ass line of misery, he told the manager I was "with him". I got to cut, too. All because I am the shit.
Of course I told him I was happily married. But the fact remains that he considered me mistress material. Thank you esophagus ulcers for starving me skinny!! WOOHOO!!!
Well... you should hear the sweet things the 65 year old custodian tells me when she cleans my cube.
Posted by: Brad | August 16, 2005 at 07:49 PM
I TOLD you you were the shit, didn't I?
Being sassy and stuff pays off sometimes. hehehe
Uh Oh..and you best investigate that custodian, Ollie.
Posted by: Tiffanni | August 16, 2005 at 07:53 PM
I always knew you were the shit. The shittiest shit, in fact! And I mean that in a really good way!
Posted by: susan/holdingpattern | August 16, 2005 at 10:31 PM
You go girl!
Posted by: thisgirl | August 17, 2005 at 12:58 AM
How can I get me some of them ulcers?
Posted by: Em | August 17, 2005 at 05:48 AM
It's always nice to be admired!
Posted by: Katie | August 17, 2005 at 09:57 AM
i need you with me when i have to stand in the long ass line at the DMV to get my license renewed!!! on second thought, nevermind, staning next to you will just make me look worse!
Posted by: Z | August 17, 2005 at 06:52 PM
Ooohhh - you have arrived, baby! (And I agree with Tiffanni - you might consider some spying on that custodian...)
Posted by: Kym | August 18, 2005 at 06:14 AM
You're a total shit! Glad the ulcers were good for something!
Posted by: Sandy | August 19, 2005 at 07:05 AM
You a whole shitSTORM, girl!
*smooch*
Posted by: Karen | August 19, 2005 at 07:16 AM