The Mind of Olivia Drab presents Ollie World

Devastating

For everyone affected by Hurricane Katrina (EVERYONE from S. Florida to New England, whether by storm, levee breakage, floods, tornadoes, etc.), my heart goes out to you. This is a terribly sad event. I am so glad that most of you were able to evacuate ahead of time, and I hope you remain safe wherever you are. For those who could not evacuate or those along the Gulf coast who were blindsided when the storm turned your way, I pray you were able to escape the devastation.

Here's a link to the American Red Cross's donation site for anyone who wants to donate. I urge you to do so if you have the means at all. There's a lot of people without homes and who need medical attention and food right now.

UPDATE

I've added more links to my sidebar: American Red Cross & Salvation Army for human relief and The Humane Society for animal relief (thank you Sue). I also added a link to FEMA, which contains multiple links and resources including how to further help or locate missing relatives.

Etcetera

Thank you to all of you wonderfully supportive people. You guys are neato.

Here I am, modeling my Infertile shirt. I wore it to the Grant Park Summer Shade Festival yesterday, where I bought earrings.

At the tent where I bought these lovelies, I met a Sister-In-Chucks. She had on the exact same olive drab Chuck Taylors that I just recently purchased. How could I NOT buy from her?

A note to New Orleans. I never really cared for Katrina & the Waves, so needless to say I am pretty pissed off that she's heading your way. All joking aside, I just hope, very seriously, that you are all safe whether by evacuation or high enough to not become affected by anything Hurricane Katrina dishes up. I love New Orleans, and I am hoping/praying/wishing that Katrina downgrades dramatically before making landfall. Please, keep safe.

Changes

I just wasn't ready to relinquish my reproductive rights a year ago. I still felt hope that my body was up to the task and I just needed to give it a push to make it get in line. But after everything I've learned this year, I just don't know if all the pushing in the world will make it happen. Perhaps if the IVF hadn't been canceled and we were able to see what kind of embryos I could make, that mystery might have been solved. But we will never know if any of those 15 eggs were any good. They are gone forever and nothing I can do will get them back.

I used to pray that I would stop wanting children. The drive to have them was fierce and it often left me heartbroken. The feelings of failure were as overwhelming as the loss of the child who couldn't survive. I kept thinking that there was always one more thing we can do, and maybe that would be the magic. When it would fail, I would become depressed. While each miscarriage was debilitating, I found that my emotional recovery time was shrinking. Whether I was growing callous, or just getting used to the idea that pregnancy=loss, I'll never really know.

But the last few months, my heart and soul have been changing. I have become more and more engaged in the notion of adoption. I frequently browse adoption sites and photos of children. Beautiful, living, breathing children. I find myself wanting them all.

This morning, I was remembering the first time I felt the pull of motherhood. I was 20. My Uncle was a pilot in the U.S. Army and the first Gulf War was beginning. He was called to duty in Saudi Arabia. Meanwhile, my Aunt was at home with their two young daughters. One day she called our house, frantic, because she needed surgery and there was no one to take care of the kids. I was a slacker and had nothing better to do, so I volunteered. I spent four months with them while she recovered.

The oldest was five and in school during the days, so the youngest, who was three, and I would spend our days hanging out together. The moment when I could hear the magical twinkle of maternal instincts came one day when she and I were at the mall. It was way past her naptime and she was getting really tired. I picked her up. When that little girl clung to me as I picked her up, I felt like a protective mother. This was what it felt like to have a little child who loved and trusted you. I got misty-eyed as I walked us to the car.

It dawned on me this morning, that the love of a child doesn't have to come from your womb. I realized that not only COULD I do it, but I kinda want to do it. The prayer of "not wanting children" was answered in a different way. I am coming around to where I am no longer needing to make them myself.

"No Shit?" News item of the day

My RE, the one affectionately known from now on as "Dr. Asswipe" told me, "Endometriosis does NOT cause miscarriages." Very confidently, I might add. Oh reeeeeeeeeeeeally?

Other factors that hinder women with endometriosis from conceiving may be the over-production of prostaglandins. Prostaglandins are hormones that play an important role in the fertilization and implantation of an embryo. Over-producing prostaglandins may interfere with the fertilization and implantation process. Also, endometriosis affects a woman's ability to remain pregnant. Several studies have shown that women with untreated endometriosis have a spontaneous abortion rate of approximately 40 to 50 percent, in contrast to the 10 to 15 percent spontaneous abortion rate in the general population.

I just received this from a weekly newsletter that Dr. Frenchie's office sends out. Dr. Frenchie is awesome. Dr. Asswipe is NOT.

"Chance" fleeting

It's looking clearer and clearer that we won't be able to sell our backyard. YES, there was a house there once upon a time. BUT, we are in a historical district and the fact that we cannot find proof that the house was independently owned is a huge obstacle. As far as we can tell, the man who owned our house also owned that house and never sold the property, merely rented it out. By all intents, it was a "guest house" on his land. What does this mean? This means that the city won't allow us to split our "parcel" of land and sell it. No giant wad of IVF money for the Drabs. *wahn-waaaaaaaaaaahn*

Now we just have to figure out our next step. For now, I am going to start taking Maca Root. A friend just found out she was pregnant after three years of trying, shortly after starting a daily intake of Maca. Will it work for me? I don't know. But if it so much as throws a dent in the endo cramps or mood swings, I will consider it worth the money and time.

The word "adoption" is beginning to emerge in our household as well. It's never really been a taboo topic, but we were also never ready for that discussion. As anyone who has adopted or is in the midst knows, it isn't an easy process. For now, we are in the discussion phase.

Speaking of adoption, I was privy to an assanine conversation yesterday. Person #1 was sitting on my right, having a conversation with Person #2 on my left. Person #1 was describing shoulder pain that he endured because as he put it, "I'm 55 years-old and my wife just adopted a baby."

"MY WIFE" adopted a baby. Apparently he had nothing to do with it? I find that impossible to believe. That was obnoxious enough. Then Person #2 piped up.

"Good for YOU!!!" That's the only thing she said, over and over and over again. Like a parrot. "Raaaawk! Good for you! Good for you! *whistle*"

It's sad but true that few people really know what to make of adoption. They consider it "charity" or fake parenting. I have this image of Person #1's wife running out to the store and picking up a gallon of milk, some paper towels and an infant. Likely she had a coupon, and they were already marked down, so what a BARGAIN! Later, there's a dinner party and the infant is in a curio cabinet. The dinner guests admire the infant and say, "It's just adorable. Good for you for finding such a beautiful bargain. Good for youuuuuuuu."

I have a feeling my eyebrow will be cocked, frequently.

Internet Waiting Room

While eagerly awaiting news of the birth of the Little Leery Polyp over at Jo's place, I decided to doodle. Period Girl strikes again.

Time Machine!!!

I've finally put the finishing touches on my time machine. Unfortunately it can only send my brain forward in time, so let's see what happens in FIVE YEARS!!!

*doodlydoodlydoodlydoo*

AUGUST 19, 2010
Hey there, or as they say on Planet Zimboo, "Gorgektree!" They have the loveliest sunsets on Zimboo. I recommend going there for vacation. It was nice, finishing my autographing tour on another planet, but boy am I tired! Being a universally famous comic book author is exhausting. So many things have happened since I've been back. Where to begin?

First, my Landspeeder is in the shop AGAIN. I swear, I will never buy another VW Landspeeder again. They look so cute on the showroom floor, but you get them home and *boom* they break. Lesson learned.

I finally bought an Embryonic Gestation and Delivery System (EGaDS). It's so exciting. I admit I am a bit nervous about trying it out the first time. But the Virtual Nurse gave me the instructions:

1) Attach the EGaDS to your belt.
2) Point wand at your womb.
3) Press the blue button.
4) In 9 months, have a baby! YAY!

Thank GOODNESS for President Christopher Walken signing the bill to authorize over-the-counter EGaDS!

What has been happening to YOU GUYS this week, in the year 2010?

That's right--I'M the SHIT

Tonight, it finally happened. The moment I've been waiting my whole life for. The day of redemption, the day when all those angst-ridden, calorie-counting, treadmill-running moments finally produce results.

To preface this, I should set up the scene. Our VW Jetta is a piece of shit (from the get-go). It has been in the shop three times in 2005, and it always seems to be breaking or leaking a lake of water into the floorboard (perfect car for my always-broken-down ass). So while it was in the shop, we were renting a sweet little Hyundai Accent (and by "sweet" I mean the $11/day value package base model vehicle that doesn't leak or rattle).

Our VW mechanic informed us that the car was ready. We fetched the Jetta and merrily made our way to the car rental shop. Brad waited in the Jetta while I handled the rental folk. Or rather, I went and stood in a long-ass line and waited with the rest of the miserable people.

That's when he walked in.

The 50-year old Korean Businessman.

He liked me. He flirted at me. He said all the supah smooth things you say to a chick in a long line. He asked me where I was headed. He asked me where "home" was. He cooed and purred at me as if I was his special little turtle dove. And then, when his frequent flyer miles earned him a major cut in the big-ass line of misery, he told the manager I was "with him". I got to cut, too. All because I am the shit.

Of course I told him I was happily married. But the fact remains that he considered me mistress material. Thank you esophagus ulcers for starving me skinny!! WOOHOO!!!

"Chance" returning

Other than sitting around, letting the store go to my head, I've had other things going on. Scout's honor, I have.

We have a big yard, which is a rare commodity in our area of town. So much so that lazy Brad and lazy Ollie don't want to mow it or landscape it or do anything with it. So it's just growing over. I expect that when we actually DO get out there to mow, we'll find some fairy tale princess under there, waiting for her urban Prince Charming to carry her out from under the kudzu. It's bad. The neighborhood cats love it because it makes premium mousie hunting grounds. It would be different if it was wooded, or nice looking, but it is bare, no trees, no shrubs, just weeds and kudzu. There was a house back there once upon a time, but it burned down in the 70's.

But I digress.

We've had a plan in our heads for some time and only recently set it into motion. We decided to sell our back yard. It's big enough that we will still have a bit of a yard, just not one so overwhelming. Just last week, on the 10th no less, we had an offer for exactly what we asked. After a bit of contract negotiations, we have a contract in place. The only thing left is to make sure the city will let us split our land. We're hopeful, but wary of excitement just yet.

If we do succeed with this, then there's a chance IVF or adoption may enter into our future again.

Thank you!!

You people know how to make someone feel like a rockstar. Thank you to everyone who has purchased something from my store. I am so honored. I now have my shamelessly self-promoting banner advertisement in my sidebar over there to the left. It goes straight to the store.

When your stuff arrives, let me know what you think of it. If the quality is good, and whatnot. I'd love to know.

P.S. I added a postage stamp. They haven't shown it in my store inventory yet (I assume they have to approve it first). Here's a preview of what it looks like. All proceeds of this stamp will be sent to the Endometriosis Research Center as a donation. (I just found out they go on sale later in August.)